I joined Farley's Currently for July and took some time for myself to do some thinking about myself for a change.
listening....I've been listening to the water running in the fish tank for like 2 days now, wondering when it was going to refill itself so it would stop making me feel like I had to go to the bathroom a million times a day. Guess I better get on that tomorrow!! Don't think it's gonna fill itself after all.
loving....I was tricked into weeding our really huge garden last week, for like 3 days in a row at least 2 hours a day. It was supposed to be my SON weeding, but it was "too hot" "I'm thirsty" "I don't want to get dirty" " I don't want to have to bend down" "oh, hey! I found a pet snail". The last one cinched it! I had totally lost him. However, as much as it hurt, it had to be done, and the more I worked the better I felt. SO...I decided that I would start working out on my step and stability ball and quit COKE and RED BULL (my life forces) and try to lose some weight. After the week in the garden, before I started the rest, I had already lost 4 pounds. Another 2 so far this week so I am loving that MAYBE (fingers crossed really hard) I can get some of this weight off and be better energized and healthy for my family and myself.
thinking....It hit me today that I don't spend enough quality time with my son (almost 8). Before Meghan (who's almost 3) he was my world. We spent all day everyday together, played games, cuddled, went places, etc. Now he's older and I am always either too tired, or too busy with something that my OCD takes over for me to work on, and I don't do those things with him anymore. Meghan gets plenty of cuddle time and nail painting and drawing etc., but I find myself too often telling Ben to "go to the playroom" "go read a book" "it's time to go play outside" and don't spend nearly enough time with him. I know that sounds horrible, and in my defense we do plenty of snuggling at story time at night before prayers at bedtime and we usually have a long talk about the day or whatever he wants to talk about, BUT I don't take the time to just do things with HIM. (My husband and I try to do inexpensive things with them both too, like little day trips, and they always love it and have fun, I just never feel like I do ENOUGH, ya know?) I know he's too old now for the snuggling she gets everyday, but I have to make time to do things he wants to do like I used to. Really struggling with this revelation tonight. He's spoiled rotten, and he gets anything that he wants, but I think that so many of the things that HE struggles with would be solved if I just did a better job on my end. I'm beating myself up really, but I just want to be the best mom I can to both of them. Parenting is the HARDEST job in the world! I wouldn't trade it for anything though! It's the most amazing and wonderful thing that a person could ever do too!! I love my kids to the ends of the universe and back! I just need to "play" more. I need to watch movies WITH them instead of just letting them have a movie night without me so I can do something else. I need to jump on the trampoline and get dirty when they want "water day" and blow bubbles and play games and cook with them. That's my goal for this month. School starts in less that 4 weeks for us and I'm thinking I want to play as much as possible!!
wanting....we are getting our carpet ripped out and replaced with tile in our classrooms so I'm wanting a classroom rug BADLY for our meeting place, especially because I'm starting the Daily 5 and so that's why I need book boxes, and who doesn't ALWAYS need new pencil sharpeners?!?
needing.....patience. I think that says it all, really. Kind of goes with what I'm thinking up there
tip....I have been leveling all my classroom books by A-Z level (which has turned out to be a MASSIVE project) and have had to scour through so many book lists. Millie taught me to hit Ctrl F to get a little FIND searchbar on ANY document or even on a web page. I can do that, type the name of the book, and it takes me right to it so I'm not reading up and down list after list of books. I've used this other times too and can't believe I never knew it existed!!! SO, if you didn't know it, try it. It's awesome!
Well, I've talked your ears off tonight it seems and I didn't mean to get SOOOOO long-winded. So if you are still reading, thanks so much for taking the time to read my blog get all this out of my head. Hope you are having a amazing weekend coming up to the 1st of July and continue to have a safe and happy 4th! (My birthday :) Yay!) See you soon!